'Control is as Witchcraft' Joni Ames

Control is as Witchcraft

“For rebellion/control is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry.” (1 Samuel 15:23)

Often people think of a controlling person as one who is loud and boisterous, shouting orders. But there is much more sinister control and manipulation that can come from other traits.

The term control freak describes a person with a personality disorder characterized by undermining other people, usually by way of controlling behavior manifested in the ways that they act to dictate the order of things in a social situation.

In her earlier years, my mother was a control freak. However as we all grew up and got wise to her, the bullying techniques she used no longer worked. So she switched the way she operated through tears and guilting us, yet kept her same agenda.

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Looking back over the years, here’s some of what she did:

When things weren’t going her way, she would pretend to faint. We had to get the smelling salts and revive her. She grew more dramatic than that. Eventually she feigned heart attacks. We would feel so guilty that we would patronize her and apologize for any way that we made her feel nervous that caused her to faint or have a heart spell. End result: Everyone caved in to her wishes.

In her more violent streaks, she would threaten us with a loaded, cocked gun. Told us she hated and would shoot us.

When her threats and bullying no longer worked, she switched to tears and threats of suicide.

She was supposedly so weak and sickly that we could we would have to make her dinner and put it on a TV tray and take it to her. If she didn’t like how the tray looked or if we forgot salt or pepper, she would throw it across the room at us and make us start all over.

She would stay in bed for days and days and kept a cowbell beside her to call for us if she needed anything. If we didn’t hurry, she would ring it wildly and scream to the top of her lungs. We would think she was dying and run to her aid.

Sometime she had just dropped something and couldn’t find it and wanted us to look for it. Or she wanted us to go get her a cup of coffee.

None of that was necessary because she could get up and walk around and do it for herself but had us convinced that she was too ill and weak to do that. Plus we wanted to avoid her drama if we didn’t jump to her beckoning call.

Through her many illnesses, my mother was able to control and manipulate us with guilt trips. Finally a doctor explained to me what she was doing and told me not to pacify her tricks. He said she wasn’t taking her meds to get better because she had too good of a deal going on by being sick. She was playing us big time.

Very often you can feel control off of a person even when they say nothing. It’s a spirit. So when they walk into a room, that spirit comes with them, and you can literally feel it enter with them. It will cause your spirit to stand up at attention inside of you.

It can be a boss, spouse, parent, friend, pastor, or anyone.

It can be blatant or subtle and can come through intimidation, manipulation, or domination.

They can gaslight you so badly that you feel like the crazy beast when they really are.

What To Do?

If it all possible, break fellowship with them. Don’t think that your kindness will ever change them because it won’t. It’s a demonic entity that you are dealing with.

You can pray for the person from a distance, without being their victim.

Get into the word of God. Get counseling help if you need it. No one should control you. That is evil. Even God lets you have your own free will.

“If therefore the Son shall make you free, you shall be free indeed.”’(John 8:36)

Even after my mother died, many family members grappled with the control she operated in.

My father signed himself into mental health after she passed because he could not even figure out what he wanted to eat or watch on TV because she had controlled everything all the years of their marriage. He thought he was crazy. The doctors told him he wasn’t crazy, his wife had been and helped him onto the path of finally finding out who he was and what he wanted in life.

Just so you know, the devil didn’t win in the end. I was able to lead my mother back to the Lord two weeks before she passed away. She went to every family member and repented. God is good!

Whatever you have to do, break free from the demonic stronghold of control so that you can do and be all that God intended.


Joni Ames



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